How do you begin your new year? Is it with a list of resolutions? And if so, what does that look like? In the past I've gone down the path of "resolving" to be different and make change in the coming year, or assigning myself a list of tasks to accomplish and calling them goals. But both of these paths left me feeling like I'm either starting from a place of "I'm not enough," and/or that my worth is defined by my ability to produce an outcome. And is that really how I want to feel?? No, No it is not.
I know I've touched on this before, I believe we live in a culture that worships a very narrow set of values, mostly based around money, "achievement" and individualism. Because of this, we can unconsciously or subconsciously adopt these values as our own without ever questioning why or how it serves us. That's why we hear so many New Year's resolutions revolve around things like losing weight, finding romantic love, or saving money. Although, even things like "be more forgiving," meditate more or "seek inner peace" often find their way on our list. Now don't get me wrong! There's nothing inherently wrong with ANY of those intentions--they might be exactly what's right for you right now.
At the same time, I invite you to connect with the feeling that is the root of each and every "resolution" or intention you choose for yourself in the coming year. Go through the visions you've laid out for yourself and ask yourself these questions:
What is the feeling underlying this goal? (i.e. is it coming from a place of "I'm not good enough", or is it more expansive/joyful/heart-centered?)
What is the feeling connected with accomplishing this goal? And will accomplishing said goal truly help me to achieve this feeling or overall vision I hold for my life?
These questions help us identify how we want to feel in our lives. Once we do that, we might look at our goals a little differently. For instance, if saving more money is my goal, I may realize that the feeling I'm seeking is "security." Having identified that, I can now ask myself: will saving X amount of money every month actually make me feel secure? And what if I can't save that much due to unforeseen circumstances? What else might help me feel secure and stable right now? From this line of questioning, we may decide to pursue entirely different avenues to feel the way we want to feel! It may be surprising what other area(s) of your life you feel you are lacking security. We then open up possibility in our lives. Our focus is narrowed by deciding what something should look like, versus what we actually want to feel in life. I invite you all to feel your lives! Please feel free to share if you end up surprised at what turned up in your life by feeling through it instead of planning it.
This is my hope for you--that your goals become visions to serve the way you want and deserve to feel throughout all of 2024!!
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