The Poem That Changed My Life

The Poem that Changed my Life  

When I read the first line of the poem, Wild Geese, by Mary Oliver, I began to weep.  Literally. And as I remember it, I also dropped to my knees (though I think that part might be a bit of dramatic flair from my memory). Certainly, something inside me dropped to its knees when I read that line: You do not have to be good. It was like a fissure in my being blew wide open, and I wept with the relief that can only come with seeing clearly. With seeing clearly and being seen.   

Because until that moment, I had not known, had not consciously realized, that my whole life had been spent trying to be good. And what this meant, then, was that I’d spent my whole life actually believing I was bad. I mena, there is no “trying” to be good if you already believe you are that way, right? (For instance, I never “try” to be funny, because I just am…and I never “try” to be modest either 😂😂😂) Anyways, when I read that line, I knew in an instant that my whole identity, the entirety of the life and career I’d built, were nothing but a desperate attempt to convince myself that I was good. To be honest, until that moment, I don’t think I understood there was even another way to live—a way in which imperfection was accepted as part of life; in which mistakes were both a given, and forgiven; a way in which leniency or compassion could be turned toward the self and not just others.  

I understood, finally, why I was perpetually exhausted. Why my body was always sooo tight. Why I needed substances to experience feelings of peace or wellbeing.  

As I continued to read each line, my body relaxed. I swear, the air reached places in my lungs it had never touched before. And I saw myself and my life as a kind of knight’s armor I’d been occupying—stiff and cold, based in fear and the need to protect myself. 

Of course, things didn’t change overnight. I still learn the lessons of this poem over and over and over. By my oh my, how beautiful it is that a poem can yield such power. If you haven’t read it, I’ve reproduced it below. If you like it and want to read more, click here for the book!  

~Sarah Kerrigan

Wild Geese | Mary Oliver  

You do not have to be good.  

You do not have to walk on your knees  

for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.  

You only have to let the soft animal of your body  

love what it loves.  

Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.  

Meanwhile the world goes on.  

Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain  

are moving across the landscapes,  

over the prairies and the deep trees,  

the mountains and the rivers.  

Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,  

are heading home again.  

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,  

the world offers itself to your imagination,  

calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting–  

over and over announcing your place  

in the family of things.